Category: Being Present

Featured Christian Perfection=Love

Three Ways to Love Like God: A Picture of Christian Perfection

On By Broken Walls Crushed SidewalksIn balancing faith, Being Present, Christian Living, Devotionals, Faith and Spiritual Growth, Faith Tensions, RelationshipsLeave a comment

“Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” — Ephesians 5:1–2 (NIV)

One of the greatest contradictions in our culture is that we often love things and use people rather than love people and use things. Imagine how different our families, churches, and communities would be if we used everything God has entrusted to us—our time, talents, resources, and possessions—to love people well.

Paul reminds us in Ephesians 5:1–2 that we are God’s dearly loved children and are called to walk in the way of love. This is more than an invitation to be kind; it is a call to become like Christ.

John Wesley described this lifelong journey as Christian perfection or perfect love. He did not mean that believers become flawless or incapable of making mistakes. Rather, Christian perfection is a heart fully surrendered to God, where love for God and love for others become the controlling motive behind our thoughts, words, and actions. As we grow in grace, love increasingly shapes who we are.

What does that kind of love look like in everyday life?

1. Keep Our Word

God is completely trustworthy. Throughout Scripture, He faithfully fulfills every promise He makes. His character never changes.

When we keep our commitments, follow through on our promises, and speak truthfully, we reflect God’s faithfulness. People experience God’s love when they know our words can be trusted.

2. Keep Time

Our calendars often reveal what we value most. Love is often spelled T-I-M-E.

Jesus was never too busy for people. He stopped for the hurting, listened to those others ignored, and welcomed those who sought Him. He also invites us into His presence, saying, “Come to me…and I will give you rest“ (Matthew 11:28).

One of the greatest expressions of love is simply being present. When we intentionally make time for others, we demonstrate that they matter to God—and to us.

3. Keep Short Accounts

Love does not cling to offenses.

God’s forgiveness is complete. When we confess our sins, He removes them “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12). Because we have received such extravagant grace, we are called to extend that same grace to others.

Keeping short accounts means choosing forgiveness over resentment and reconciliation over revenge. It doesn’t ignore pain or excuse wrongdoing, but it refuses to let bitterness take root.

Perfect Love in Everyday Life

Christian perfection is not about never failing; it is about allowing God’s love to increasingly transform our hearts. Every day we have opportunities to become more like Christ—to keep our word, make time for people, and forgive quickly.

Perhaps the simplest definition of Christian perfection is this: to love as Christ loves.

As you reflect on this passage, ask yourself:

  • Am I becoming more faithful in my word?
  • Does my calendar reflect love for God and others?
  • Is there someone I need to forgive?

May our lives become a fragrant offering to God as we walk in love, following the example of Christ. After all, the goal of the Christian life is not merely knowing more about Jesus, but loving more like Him.

Next in the Series: We’ve explored what it means to love like God. But what happens when others don’t love us well? Join me as we discover how to respond to everyday disappointments with grace, guard our hearts from bitterness, and continue walking in the way of love.

A Letter to My Children

On By Broken Walls Crushed SidewalksIn Being Present, Bowen Family Therapy, Communication, Faith Tensions, Family, ParentingLeave a comment

Sometimes, I realize, I can be a lot for you—more than you asked for, more than you needed.

In an attempt to make sure that everyone gets what they need, I reach out early, plan ahead, and try to identify what could go wrong so I can fix it before it even happens. What I didn’t understand was that what felt like love to me felt like pressure to you.

For a long time, I didn’t really understand what you were trying to say.
I didn’t get it.

I didn’t know that love can also feel like there’s no room to breathe.

I thought love was showing up prepared.
I thought love was remembering what everyone liked.
I thought love was making sure no one felt forgotten.
I thought love was making sure everyone got along and stayed happy.

I thought love was doing.

We repeat what was transferred to us from previous generations and without understanding, we repeat it even when we think we aren’t. That isn’t to blame our parents or grandparents because I think we’re all just trying to do the best we can. That doesn’t make it okay. It doesn’t excuse that I should have known better.

When your children are young, your job is to keep them safe. Our responsibility is to protect our family. When you were little, that made sense. But somewhere along the way, that role began to shift.

Over time, my identity came from keeping everyone around me safe and happy. Sometimes that meant invalidating emotions and unintentionally taking away your freedom to make choices—especially ones I thought were wrong.

I didn’t realize I was building my identity around you—
which probably often felt like I was trying to control.

But I didn’t leave enough space for you to choose me.

So when I was told I was a lot, it didn’t just hurt.
It collapsed the whole structure.

If love wasn’t wanted, then what did I have to give? Who was I?

Here’s the part I didn’t understand then—but am learning now:

Intent doesn’t cancel impact.

I wasn’t trying to control.
I wasn’t trying to crowd.
I wasn’t trying to demand closeness

I confused doing with connection.
I confused effort with safety.

I see now that love also needs restraint.
That closeness grows where there is freedom to choose.
That people don’t pull away because they aren’t loved—
but because they don’t feel free.

A Hard Lesson to Learn:

You didn’t pull back because I failed to love you.
You pulled back because I didn’t know how to stop loving at you instead of with you.

I’m learning now—late, imperfectly—to sit instead of reach.
To wait instead of anticipate.
To trust that I don’t have to prove my place.

I don’t know what repair looks like yet, but understanding is reshaping how I love.

With All My Love

Mom

The Gift of Presence: Celebrating Christmas Through Acts of Service

On By Broken Walls Crushed SidewalksIn Being Present, Christian Living, Faith Tensions, Family, Gifting, Grace, Holiday, Identity, Love, Prayer, RelationshipsLeave a comment

Every December, the world buzzes with wrapping paper, shopping lists, and the pressure to find the perfect gift. But what if this year, instead of focusing on presents, we embraced the gift of presence? What if we celebrated Christmas by giving our time, love, and service—just as Jesus did when He came to dwell among us?

The True Meaning of Christmas

Christmas is more than lights and gifts; it’s the celebration of God’s greatest act of love—sending His Son, Jesus, to be with us. “The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us” (John 1:14). His birth was not about grandeur but humility: a manger, not a palace. This was God’s way of saying, “I am here with you.” Presence was His gift.

Why Presence Matters More Than Presents

Material gifts fade, but memories of love and togetherness last forever. Being present means showing up—fully engaged, without distractions. It’s listening, laughing, and sharing life. In a world that often feels disconnected, presence is the most precious gift we can give.

Acts of Service: Reflecting Christ’s Love

Jesus didn’t just come to be served; He came to serve. “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve” (Matthew 20:28). This Christmas, let’s follow His example through simple acts of kindness:

  • Volunteer at a local shelter or food bank.
  • Help an elderly neighbor with errands or chores.
  • Write heartfelt notes to those who need encouragement.
  • Spend time with someone who feels alone.

These acts speak louder than any wrapped gift—they echo the heart of Christ.

How to Make This Shift

  • Create a Presence Plan: Instead of a gift list, plan meaningful moments—family meals, game nights, worship together.
  • Talk About Gratitude: Share what you’re thankful for and how you’ve seen God’s love this year.
  • Serve Together: Make service a family tradition—choose one act of kindness each week leading up to Christmas.

Ask yourself:

  1. How can I be more present with my family and friends this Christmas?
  2. What act of service can I commit to this week that reflects Christ’s love?
  3. How does remembering Jesus’ humility change the way I celebrate Christmas?

Conclusion

Christmas is not about what’s under the tree; it’s about who’s around it—and the love we share. Jesus gave us the ultimate gift: Himself. This year, let’s give what truly matters—our time, our hearts, and our hands in service.

“This Christmas, let’s celebrate His presence by being present.”