Alex and Jordan, two friends, have been talking about a project they’ve both wanted to do for months. Finally, they decide it’s time. They head to the store together, buy all the supplies, and go home excited to start.
Each begins the project at their respective homes. Both encounter an obstacle—something they hadn’t anticipated. They step back, and here’s where the difference emerges.
- Alex steps back and gets frustrated: “Why bother?” “This isn’t going to work.” Negative internal messages flood in.
- Jordan, on the other hand, steps back and calmly considers options: “What’s another way to solve this?”
Fast forward to the next night. The two friends are texting. Jordan is sharing pictures of the completed project. Alex? Listing all the reasons the project couldn’t be finished.
What’s the difference? A sense of agency and a sense of locus of control.
What Are Agency and Locus of Control?
- Agency: The ability to act intentionally and believe your actions matter.
- Jordan operates with high agency: “I can figure this out.”
- Alex struggles with low agency: “This is pointless.”
- Locus of Control: Where you believe control lies.
- Internal locus: “My actions shape my results.”
- What I do matters because:
- I believe effort leads to outcomes.
- I see challenges as problems I can solve.
- Success or failure is tied to my choices, not luck.
- What I do matters because:
- External locus: “Life happens to me.”
- What I do doesn’t matter because:
- Outcomes depend on luck, fate, or other people.
- Obstacles feel like proof that I’m powerless.
- Circumstances need to change before action happens.
- What I do doesn’t matter because:
- Jordan leans internal; Alex leans external.
- Internal locus: “My actions shape my results.”
These two forces quietly determine whether someone becomes a “doer” or a “non-doer.”
Jordan: The Person Who Gets Things Done
- Beliefs: “I have influence over outcomes.”
- Behaviors:
- Breaks big goals into small steps.
- Seeks solutions instead of excuses.
- Treats setbacks as feedback, not failure.
- Mindset: “I can make progress even if it’s imperfect.”
Alex: The Person Who Doesn’t
- Beliefs: “It’s out of my hands.”
- Behaviors:
- Overplans and procrastinates.
- Focuses on obstacles instead of opportunities.
- Waits for ideal conditions before acting.
- Mindset: “Why bother? It won’t matter.”
Why This Matters
The gap between Alex and Jordan isn’t about intelligence or talent—it’s about belief systems. Agency and locus of control shape motivation, resilience, and life satisfaction. When these are compromised—often by early life experiences—the difference between “do” and “don’t” becomes a matter of mindset, not capability.
Practical Tips to Build Agency and Internal Locus
- Start small: Like Jordan, set achievable goals and celebrate wins.
- Reframe challenges: Ask, “What can I control here?”
- Own your choices: Practice decision-making and accept outcomes.
- Reflect on success: Identify what you did to make it happen.
Closing Thought
Alex and Jordan started with the same resources. One finished, one didn’t. The difference? Belief in control. People who do believe they can. People who don’t believe they can’t. The good news? Beliefs can change—agency is built one intentional choice at a time.
Curious why Alex and Jordan responded so differently to the same challenge? It’s not just personality—it’s programming. In Part 2, we’ll explore the hidden scripts written early in life that shape our sense of control and capability. These scripts can come from trauma or even overprotection—and they influence whether we believe we can succeed. Most importantly, we’ll share how to rewrite those scripts for a more empowered future.
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→ Read Part 2: From Helpless to Capable: Rewriting Your Life Script Publishes on Tuesday, January 27 at 10:00 am