So, during this past week the battle has been to push through cravings and to be satisfied with the small changes I’m making.  I have not felt deprived through the week and have actually been somewhat surprised that I have not missed soda.  However, Friday & Saturday I was feeling a little deprived.  Part of me has been feeling like having a soda would be “no big deal” and “I deserve to be able to have a soda.”  I’ve identified a trigger of eating snacks/pastries.  Which seems a little strange since I’m really not a big pastries person.  However, I think in the past, when I have eaten pastries, I washed it down with a soda.  It just seemed a natural go together.

Since for the most part during the week, it hasn’t felt like a big sacrifice to forgo soda and add healthier foods, I’ve felt I wasn’t doing enough.  Is there a feeling that I need to punish myself to succeed?  or is it that I feel it needs to be more difficult?  Old patterns of all or nothing seem to be competing with establishing new patterns of moving slower.  As I stated above, this weekend the cravings have increased but so far, I have been able to resist.  I wonder, if I had let the old patterns take over, if I would have given into the cravings by being overwhelmed with the task.

The war this week has been about maintaining and keeping to the small achievable goals as opposed to setting larger goals.  It’s been more difficult this week to sit with the cravings.  It’s also been difficult to be satisfied with setting smaller goals.  I frequently find myself saying that I’m not doing enough to make a real difference.  I have to constantly remind myself that this is only the beginning.